So I had to return something at Marshall’s and had some time to kill a while back and found these things there called “Hot Boots.” I thought I had found the face of God. After my surgeries and ever since, I was having even more out of whack temperature control issues since they essentially removed an pretty relevant organ from my body. My feet tend to be freezing while the rest of me is overly warm. You just pop them in the microwave for 2 minutes and then slip them on. And they smell like lavender. Like fucking lavender. And they keep your cold-ass feet as warm as the arms of the baby Jesus himself. And they have literally changed my life. If I cried at shit like this, I’d cry. But for a $14.99 investment, I can now truly begin to LIVE again. All because of the people in China who made me my “Hot Boots” (normally I’d care about buying shit in China, but not this time). Peace of mind. I, China manufacturer of “Hot Boots”, am grateful for your product and your employees’ personal sacrifices.
Now go. Go and pick up your very own pair of “Hot Boots” at your local Marshall’s. Your feet will thank you and then take you for a sandwich.